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Author Topic: Motorcycle Tool Guide (Definitions)  (Read 1093 times)

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November 05, 2014, 10:25:16 AM
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• Eight-Foot Long Douglas Fir 2X4 - used for levering a bike upright after using a hydraulic jack on the bike.
• Hydraulic Bike Jack/Platform - ingeniously-designed tool for flipping bikes onto their sides, usually when you're alone in the shop.
• Wire Wheel - cleans rust off old bolts and then throws them somewhere under the workbench with the speed of light. Also removes fingerprints and hard-earned guitar calluses in about the time it takes you to say, "Hand me 'nother beer, Bubba!"
• Drill Press - a tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat metal bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the chest and flings your beer across the room, splattering it against the Pamela Anderson poster over the bench grinder.
• Oxy Acetylene torch - used almost entirely for lighting those stale garage cigarettes you keep hidden in the back of the Whitworth socket drawer (What wife would think to look in there?) because you can never remember to buy lighter fluid for the Zippo lighter you got from the PX at Fort Campbell.
• Vice-Grips - used to round off bolt heads. If nothing else is available, they can also be used to transfer intense welding heat to the palm of your hand.
• Electric Hand Drill - normally used for spinning steel Pop rivets in their holes until you die of old age, but it also works great for drilling roll-bar mounting holes in the floor of a sports car just above the brake line that goes to the rear axle.
• Mechanic's Knife - used to open and slice through the contents of cardboard cartons delivered to your front door; works particularly well on boxes containing leathers or bike covers.
• Hammer - originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer nowadays is used as a kind of divining rod to locate expensive chrome scooter parts not far from the object we are trying to hit.
• Tweezers - a tool for removing wood splinters.
• Phone - tool for calling your neighbor Bubba to see if he has another hydraulic floor jack.
• Gasket Scraper - theoretically useful as a sandwich tool for spreading mayonnaise; used mainly for getting dog-doo off your boot.
• E-Z Out Bolt and Stud Extractor - a tool that snaps off in bolt holes and is ten times harder than any known drill bit.
• Two-Ton Hydraulic Engine Hoist - a handy tool for testing the tensile strength of ground straps and hydraulic clutch lines you may have forgotten to disconnect. Almost capable of lifting a Electra Glide off the floor.
• Craftsman 1/2 x 16 Inch Screwdriver - a large motor mount prying tool that inexplicably has an accurately machined screwdriver tip on the end without the handle.
• Battery Electrolyte Tester - A handy tool for transferring sulfuric acid from scooter battery to the inside of your toolbox after determining that your battery is dead as a doornail, just as you thought.
• Hacksaw - one of a family of cutting tools built on the Ouija board principle. It transforms human energy into a crooked, unpredictable motion, and the more you attempt to influence its course, the more dismal your future becomes.
• Trouble Light - the mechanic's own tanning booth. Sometimes called a drop light, it is a good source of vitamin D, "the sunshine vitamin", which is not otherwise found in garages at night. Health benefits aside, its main purpose is to consume 40-watt light bulbs at about the same rate that 105-mm howitzer shells might be used during, say, the first few hours of the Battle of the Bulge. More often dark than light, its name is somewhat misleading.
• Air Compressor- a machine that takes energy produced in a coal-burning power plant 200 miles away and transforms it into compressed air that travels by hose to a Chicago Pneumatic impact wrench that grips rusty suspension bolts last tightened 40 years ago by someone in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, and rounds them off.
• Phillips Screwdriver - normally used to stab the lids of old-style paper-and-tin oil cans and splash oil on your shirt; can also be used, as the name implies, to round off Phillips screw heads.
• Timing Light- a stroboscopic instrument for illuminating grease buildup on crankshaft pulleys.

November 05, 2014, 12:30:48 PM
Reply #1


Supporting Member
I have never seen those definitions written down before but I can assure you I learned some of those definitions in the University of Life. Sometimes learning comes with pain!  :o  :))
Two Lane Highway

November 05, 2014, 07:23:06 PM
Reply #2


Global Moderator
No way around those being so true LOL

November 06, 2014, 03:16:40 PM
Reply #3


Supporting Member
Very true indeed.
Smoke em if you got em

February 07, 2019, 06:53:47 PM
Reply #4


If your search brought to this thread and the above funny stuff wasn’t exactly what you were looking for well maybe the below collection of forum links will be helpful.

Here is a list of links to Harley Davidson specialty tool information on the forum and a few direct links to suppliers of specialty tools.

Harley Twin Cam Chain Tensioner Replacement Tool,202.0.html

Options for Cam Chain Tensioner Shoe Replacement,4227.0.html

Spark Test using Mac Tools ET99476,1855.0.html

Mainshaft Bearing Race Removal and Installation Tool P/N 94129-09,1377.0.html

Wheel Bearing Removal and Installation Tool (HD p/n 94134-09),2028.0.html


Screamin' Eagle Push Rod Tube Installation and Removal Tool P/N 94086-09,1375.0.html

Twin Cam Chain Tensioner Tool P/N 94075-09,1371.0.html

Screamin' Eagle Inner Cam Bearing Removal Tool P/N 94078-09,1373.0.html

Screamin' Eagle Primary Drive Locking Tool P/N 14900002,1376.0.html

SB M-0869 Harley Valve Guide Gauge/Cutting Tool - DIY,271.0.html

Screamin' Eagle Camshaft Removal and Installation Tool P/N 94085-09,1374.0.html

Screamin' Eagle Cam Locking Tool P/N 94076-09,1372.0.html

Harley Davidson and Buell Specialized Tool Catalog (Kent-Moore Tools) DIY,137.0.html

Motorcycle Fork Oil Fill Tool,3282.0.html

Screamin' Eagle Inner Cam Bearing Installation Tool P/N 94107-09A,1378.0.html

SAFR - Standalone Air Fuel Ratio Diagnostic Tool,2935.0.html

Tools for DIY on your Harley,85.0.html

Tool review,976.0.html

Diagnostics Tools for Harley Davidson Motorcycles,118.0.html

Brake fluid flushing/Bleeding,2283.0.html

JIMS Performance Parts For Harley Davidson

George's Garage - Specialty Tools for Use on Harley-Davidson Motorcycles

Hands on Tools (distributor of JIMS and George's Garage)

Heartland Products - Harley Davidson Tools

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